Butterflies

Butterflies are a beautiful symbol in my family. They represent hope, the presence of loved ones and comfort. In some ways they represent new life. Their symbolism began the day of my Grandma Pat's memorial service. As my Grandpa stood before her dearest friends and family a precious black and orange butterfly gracefully landed on the podium next to him. This beautiful butterfly stayed with him as he spoke and followed him right to his seat when he was finished. From that day forward our family came to cherish the butterfly as a simple reminder that our Grandma would always be with us.

3 years later my Aunt Kelly stood before a gathering of our dearest family and friends to share words of remembrance for my Grandpa Read. As she stood in the same spot my Grandpa had stood just years before, two butterflies flitted to the podium and danced above her head. God sent us a reminder that Grandma and Grandpa were never far from us--their memory and presence were felt in the flitting of wings and the vibrancy of color.

12 years later I found myself looking for a renewed sense of hope after the loss of my Hope. I was reminded of the butterfly, of the beautiful picture of hope it unveils. The butterfly must struggle for what seems an eternity in order to emerge as something more breath-taking and glorious. She breaks free from the bondage of her struggle to find that she can fly and experience life in a way she never knew before. The butterfly was to be my new symbol of hope, and my mom graciously gave me a necklace to signify this new emblem. I wear my butterfly necklace with anticipation of the glory God might reveal in me.

It was two weeks after I placed this necklace on my neck that I found myself in Ohio visiting Lindsay. On July 3, Aunt Kelly's birthday, we took a pregnancy test and discovered the great joy of baby number 3! What excitement but oh what fear Herb and I experienced in those next days! But God is gracious--a white butterfly came to visit me every day that I was in Ohio, no matter which city we were in. Hope, my precious girl, and Jesus, my precious Savior, brought me a reminder that there is hope. I felt like God was reminding me that it was okay, it was good, to believe in the plans that He has for me. And I felt as though Hope was urging me to believe it was okay for me to move forward. I felt Hope allowing me to welcome this new life into our lives, in fact modeling for me how important and easy it was to embrace this new little one.

I thought for sure that the butterflies would not appear once we left Ohio. After all Ohio is green and lush and I couldn't remember the last time I saw a butterfly in Arizona. But not one day have I been left alone. Each morning when I back out of my driveway or walk onto school's campus or drive to the grocery store, there she is, my precious Butterfly! I have not been left alone in my fear but instead have been surrounded by my Hope. I have to believe that these butterflies represent not only the new life growing within me, but the new life God has cultivated in my heart as a result of Hope's life.

So while I certainly have butterflies about this new pregnancy, I also have Butterflies to remind me that I walk this journey with Hope! Thank you Jesus for the Butterflies!