Alright, as promised, the second train...
When I was little, my sister and I loved the Mary Martin version of Peter Pan. We would march around all day singing:
"I won't grow up, I don't want to go to school, just to learn to be a parrot and recite a silly rule. 'Cause growing up is awful-er than all the awful things that ever were. I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up. Not me!" Tons of fun and a sentiment we could all relate to.
But recently I've been reflecting on the story of Peter Pan, in large part due to a comment from my sister-in-law and in large part due to the experiences and images around me. Why were we all so enamored with being eternally young? Why was Peter this clever, witty character that drew Wendy in? Being young, staying young, eternal youth; these are all alluring ideas. So alluring in fact that most advertisers use this particular desire to sell their products. Everything from wrinkle cream to sports cars is sold under the premise that it can make you look and feel younger. Why this drive?
Lindsay said that it possibly had something to do with the fact that we remember our youth fondly. Perhaps this is part of it, but I'm not really the person to ask on this theory. I did not and still do not cherish my youth. Those were not my happier days. But as adults, I do think we have the tendency to dwell on the positives of the past and forget the negative. Theory one has some weight.
Theory two: growing up means we have to be grown-ups. Yes kiddos, Mrs. Garcia appears to be using circular reasoning, but give me a chance to explain. In our quest to be older, we take on more and more responsibility. With age and maturity comes an inherent sense of our need to care for others. Whether it be spouses, children, siblings or even parents, our need and our place in life becomes a role of caretaker. In addition, we become better equipped to care for ourselves. We pay our bills, feed our bodies when they are hungry, get jobs to take care of both of these needs. When we are teenagers we dream about these days, being carefree, not having to answer to anyone but ourselves. But inevitably we do answer to others, and people become dependent on us. We have to be grown-ups and that role comes with responsibilities. Theory two has strong standing as well.
My third line of logic is this: society today, or possibly just the lies of Satan that have always existed, tell us that people "our age" (whatever that age may be) should be living life carefree, without worry. If I'm twenty-five, I should be out partying and drinking. If I'm thirty-five, I should escape work and responsibility by buying a sports car and taking exotic vacations. If I'm forty-five, my kids need to get out of my house so I can start living life the way I want to. The temptation to run from responsibility, to live a foot-loose and fancy-free life, is ever present. I think Satan uses the "grass is always greener" logic to take us away from the things we should be doing, the things we need to be doing.
I think this third theory is particularly powerful for men. Just as women were cursed with child-bearing and "submission" to their husband's authority, men were cursed to toil over the ground. The curse of Adam's fall was that he would forever be tied to the security and welfare of his family. He would forever be tied to being the "bread winner". (Not that women don't struggle with this idea too, but I believe it manifests differently.)
So why now? Why am I dwelling on this story of Peter Pan? I've watched several men lately walk out on their "life of responsibility" because they long for the easier road. Whether they want to leave their families so they don't have to care for others, or leave their jobs because it's too hard, I've sensed a need to run from responsibility. And I'm beginning to take a careful look at why. Because the fact of the matter is that it grieves me and scares me. I fear a serious attack on Godly men, on all men, and I want to do something about it. I am going to take up a serious prayer campaign for the men in my life. I want to pray them away from this "Peter Pan complex"; without judgment, with great grace, and with serious help from God.
The fact of the matter is that I'm not alien to this thinking; I would like to believe that on some level I understand. I've been tempted many times to quit teaching and get an "easy" job. But then I think about the fact that life was never promised to be "easy." And if it were, how boring would that be? Like my sister-in-law Sarah said, "I think I'm like Wendy." I've figured out that at some point I have to grow up. That's how it works. That's how it was meant to be. But I truly believe this realization is of God. Thus, I long to ask God to grant the men in my life this same truth that He granted me. And while there are certainly times in our lives where we are meant to be Peter Pan, we must always find our way back to Wendy.
(Sorry if my logic seems a bit scatter-brained, jumping back on the train can be difficult! But hopefully you get my gist!)
