Specifics

So I was reading this great book this morning (notice how many of my blogs begin this way! Reading truly is enlightening and thought-provoking! We should do it more often...I digress) called Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World.  This week's chapter is about being teachable, a topic I always need to be reminded of because it is essential for continual growth.  As I read I stumbled upon this sentence:

"We are quick to admit we are not perfect as long as no one points out specifics."

Woa!  Hold it right there!  Talk about truth wrapped in a nice, concise package!  I was humbled by this sentence because images and situations flew to my mind immediately.  Conversations where I willingly say, "I'm know I'm not perfect."  I'm even willing to point out some specifics that I have personally come up with.  But the moment that someone else wants to reveal my specific imperfections, I slam on the brakes with my defensive and harsh response.  Echoes of "Well you just don't understand..." "that was a completely different situation..." "I was just under a lot of stress..." "Excuse, excuse, blah blah blah!"  Why am I so afraid of specifics?

I'll tell you why: it's okay to be imperfect because everyone has the same common flaw.  But the moment we get into specifics, it becomes about me and my failings.  My imperfections in what I offer this world, and that gets a little too personal.  What I really think it boils down to is shame.  This world, or maybe the church, has taught us to be ashamed of our specific failings or sins.  There's a certain condemnation that goes along with specific shortcomings.  But I think that's really unfortunate.  I think we are doing this world a disservice.

Think about it...if we took away the stigma of the specifics and looked at them as opportunities for growth, how different would our interactions be?  But part of that comes in the approach.  If we're pointing out specific shortcomings to be hurtful then the response is going to be shame. If we're pointing out specific shortcomings as opportunities for growth, then there's love and support to grow and change.

I think I've digressed again.  But needless to say, I'm going to try and be less afraid of specifics.  I'm going to try to embrace my specific imperfections as opportunities to grow and not as reasons to be ashamed.  That doesn't mean the specifics won't hurt, but it does mean that I'll try to remember that growth hurts.  The pain will be a symptom of my ever-changing heart, which will bear testimony of my growth toward God.  And that's a specific I can really get behind.