Fatal Mistakes

Yesterday I found out that one of my former students died in a motorcycle accident Friday night. He was speeding and rear ended a car so hard that his helmet flew off. It is interesting to me that in the face of this senseless death, I searched and searched for more information, more details. Why do we do that? Will it somehow bring us more peace to understand more completely, to visualize more fully? Perhaps I believed I could understand the why better if I searched just a bit harder.

I know that I won't know the answer to the why. In general I find that I am okay with that, that I can trust that the Lord has a bigger plan. But trusting the Lord's plan is certainly harder when dealing with the death of someone so young. My student was 18 years old; he had just graduated last spring. His plan was to join the coast guard; he was a great swimmer and served as a lifeguard multiple summers in a row. There were plans in place, although there always are; whether the death occurs before birth or in old age, we are always thinking about tomorrow. Perhaps it is more than the plans, it is the idea of the life not lived. I do know that my student tried to live life fully in the best way adolescents know how. The motorcycle was an attempt to embrace life, but adolescents do not know how to walk that fine line between embracing life and being reckless. It is one of the hardest parts of being a high school teacher, and I'm sure a parent of teenagers as well. We give them knowledge, wisdom, and then we have to stand by and watch them make mistakes. Watch as they throw out our wisdom or embrace it. It is trying to observe, but if they don't make their own mistakes how will they learn? It is a constant prayer that their mistakes will be meaningful but not too harmful.

Now I find myself praying more diligently for those students grieving his loss because they are still at the age where they aren't going to learn from his mistake. Those students still have to make their own. What a tiny glimpse of what God must feel as He watches us make the same mistakes we've watched others make. It is painful to love others and not intervene. Free will comes at such a high cost. But He loves us enough to give it in hopes that we will grow into amazing people who will extend love and wisdom to others and to Him.

There's really no conclusion to this post, just a sadness. I am grateful for the blessings bestowed on me; I am cherishing each moment; I am praying for those who are hurting; I am praying for students to come. May we love much and may we never fail to show it when given the opportunity.