Homeowners!

Herb and I went house hunting again yesterday. While I was anxious about trying to find a different house, one that would rival the original house, I was excited to hopefully find a place we could call home. We looked at a house right next door to Mark and Rachael and LOVED it! It was three bedroom and very spacious with a fireplace. Herb and I were pretty convinced this was the place, but we decided to keep looking since our Realtor had made appointments in other locations.

After cruising through a few others, we found a beautiful home at Houghton and Valencia. It is four bedroom, similar footage to the one next to Mark and Rachael, and had an adorable family-friendly back yard. This house would include all of the appliances, the security system, and the swing set in the backyard. We were torn because we loved it equally with the first house. We spent lunch and the rest of the afternoon deliberating, went back to the house near Mark and Rachael, and finally decided to put an offer on the Vail house.

This morning we signed the offer papers; it is owned by very stable sellers, no short sale to be told, so we expected to hear by tomorrow afternoon. Two hours ago we received a phone call. They countered for a little more than we offered, but much within our price range, in fact the same we were hoping to pay for our original house! Plus, we don't have to buy the appliances as we would have had to with the original house! So we accepted it! We will soon be homeowners, saving any big problems! We will close December 17th and be "home" in time for Christmas! Or at least painting in time for Christmas! I'm so excited! I love it and the home is beautiful! If you'd like to check out pictures head to:

http://tarmls.com/
Click on Public Search
Listing number: 20836190

There are tons of pictures! Check them out, tell me what you think, and tell me if you have any decorating or paint color ideas! You know I need the help! Thanks for your love and support through this whole process! We'll impose on you just a little longer to help us paint and move in! Can't wait!

One of those songs...

You know how there are those songs that just uplift your spirit, quiet your heart? The words impact you in a powerful way and change your perspective on life, even if just for that moment? My senior year in high school that song was "Move or Move Me" by FFH. The cry out to God just fit my circumstance, my need in that moment. To this day I still get chills upon hearing that song.

I have a new "one of those songs." I've heard it three times in the last two days and it has spoken into my discouragement and centered my heart on the truth of who God is and who I am in Him. Sometimes I can learn new things by listening to these songs that others point out, understand where they are without them ever having to put their emotions into words. I thought maybe I'd offer the same opportunity to you all tonight. So here is my song:

Addison Road - Hope Now
From the album Addison Road

If everything comes down to love
Then just what am I afraid of?
When I call out your name
Something inside awakes in my soul
How quickly I forget I'm yours

I'm not my own
I've been carried by you
All my life

Chorus:
Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free

When my life is like a storm
Rising waters, all I want is the shore
You say I'll be ok
And make it through the rain
You are my shelter from the storm

I'm not my own
I've been carried by you
All my life

Chorus:

You've become my heart's desire
And I will sing your praises higher
Cause your love sets me free
Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free

Grace and Mercy

Remember that old Newsboys song: "When you get what you don't deserve, it's a real good thing, a real good thing. When you don't get what you deserve, it's a real good thing, a real good thing"?

Last week was a practice in the art of grace and mercy for me. God was gracious and merciful to me, but even more than that I learned something about being "deserving." I like the American philosophy, it jives very well with my personality. If you work hard, you will reap the benefits. If you are patient and do the right thing, you will be rewarded. I think I've said before that I'm very driven by rewards. If I do something ahead of time, I'm rewarded with time off later. If I invest time in my relationships, I'm rewarded with strong friendships. For the most part I like my cause and effect statements, but I had a hard lesson in realizing that this isn't always how God works. The thing is when it comes to God, there's no entitlement. We don't "deserve" anything but the consequences of our sins. And by His grace, we don't get what we "deserve." My spirit is learning all of this the hard way these days. Let me explain with some examples from last week:

When we get what we don't deserve...that's how I feel about Obama being elected. I'm not sure that he deserves the title of President. I believe it is by the grace of the American people that he is where he is. I thought that my prayers for this election would be enough for me to "deserve" McCain as President. I thought that Aunt Kelly "deserved" a win for her "team" in honor of her memory. But that's not how it happened...hopefully the American public won't get what it "deserves" by electing Obama. God is sovereign after all.

When we get what we don't deserve...I was blessed with an amazing experience at Borders last Wednesday, one I didn't "deserve". Some of my students, current and former, along with staff, family and friends came to Borders to hear a brilliant man speak about the book Another Country. Not only did the speaker reveal the glorious history of this book (it was challenged by the President and reviewed by the FBI in 1962 when it was a national best seller--they deemed it of literary merit!), but he engaged the audience in a discussion of the novel. My students spoke with such confidence and poise about their thoughts on the characters, setting, plot, and symbolism; I have never been filled with such joy and so humbled by the students God graciously allows me to teach. I'm not sure I "deserved" that moment, but I was grateful for it nonetheless.

When we don't get what we deserve...we found out Thursday that we didn't get the house. After seven weeks of waiting and dreaming about our life in that house, we were told that the lender counter-offered with $35,000 more than the listing price that we placed as an offer. I am not sure what the logic was or how they thought we would pay that much more than we had originally planned, but I know that it left me brokenhearted. I feel defeated, disheartened and lost. As I was arguing with God last night (He is amazing because He lets me do just that), I told Him that I'd put Herb through law school, I'd waited to start my family, I'd worked in a job that was very demanding, I'd loved on the people around me, I'd served at church, I'd sought to grow as a believer, didn't I deserve this little piece of happiness? To which He calmly answered, No. This doesn't mean that He doesn't want good for me or that the plans He has for me aren't amazing, BUT those things won't come because I "deserve" them. I can't earn them. I can't stake claim to them because God gives and takes away according to His good plan, not because of the things I've done to earn them. That's a hard pill to swallow because it is so counter to my affinity for the American philosophy, but then again, I'm very thankful that he doesn't give me what I "deserve." Because the wages of sin is death and I'm pretty jazzed that I didn't get what I earned there. I can't have it both ways. I either get what I "deserve", what I've earned, or I don't. I don't "deserve" a house, but I believe that God will give me what I don't "deserve" in His own good time. I believe that's called hope.

Finally, when we get what we don't deserve...my momma loves me and gave me a little spending money to enjoy while in Disneyland this weekend. I'm not good at spending money on myself, it's an art I'm glad I haven't mastered. But I did well this weekend, I took the gift given to me and enjoyed it. Not only did we find joy at the happiest place on earth, but I left with some fun Christmas souvenirs. I bought myself , or rather Mom bought me, some Christmas serving platters for my Christmas goodies and a Christmas throw blanket for me to snuggle under during these next few cold months. These were blessings to me, things I didn't "deserve," but I was thankful for them nonetheless.

I've learned these past weeks that grace and mercy aren't cut and dry. They aren't as straightforward as the Newsboys touted. But that is the nature of God. He is complex and mysterious, gracious and merciful, beyond my human comprehension. I will not pretend to understand fully now, but I will consider myself blessed when He offers me what I don't "deserve."

What do you do with a Juicy suit?

If you're a Scottsdale girl, a Juicy suit is the thing for you. You can trounce around town in a $150 work out suit and still feel that you are adhering to the fashionable, couture thing. If you are me and shop and Kohl's and Target for your clothes, the purposing of such a thing becomes a little harder to come by.

First of all, any article of clothing that requires me to go without underwear becomes very low on my list of attire to don. Secondly, I have a hard time wearing something that draws attention to my rear end; it sticks out enough thank you! So when my mom so lovingly gave me a Juicy suit last Christmas because she wanted me to feel included with my sister, and I think more importantly, because she found it on clearance (my kind of mom!), I was left with one question: What do I do with a Juicy suit?

Luckily I purposed this attire on Friday night. Halloween arrived and with it the need for a costume. I had given no thought to this whatsoever, and thus was wondering if we could even attend a party that night. At work I mentioned that Herb could be a football player, and I could be a baseball player, when one of my co-workers interrupted. "One year my boyfriend and I didn't know what to be, so he threw on one of his football jersey and I teased my hair, put on a ton of make-up and wore a huge fake diamond ring. I went as his trophy wife!" Brilliant! I loved the idea! And what attire is more fitting a trophy wife than a Juicy suit! So Herb went as Jake Plummer and I went as his trophy wife. I embraced the trashy: chewing gum obnoxiously, making stupid jokes, donning my blue tooth around the house, and flaunting my ring and my thing! It was quite an enjoyable costume if you ask me.

I thought you all might relish some pictures of my Juicy suit's debut in Katie's world! Try not to laugh too hard.

A New Discovery

I've heard over and over again about the Love Languages and how understanding your Love Language is key to successful relationships. I couldn't agree more that it is so important to know how to love the people around you, rather to know how they experience love. My problem is that I have always felt like all of them applied to me but none of them fit exactly right. I do feel loved when someone does something nice for me, but it doesn't overflow me with emotion. I love getting an encouraging email from a friend, but it's not a "wow, in this moment I feel loved!" response. Gifts are great and I LOVE when they are thoughtful, but again, not quite it. I do love a good hug, but still just not right. The same goes for spending time with people, although I think this is probably the closest one I can find that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. So you see, I have for some time been in a bit of a quandary about how exactly it is that I experience love. That is until last night when I had a new discovery:

Information is my love language. Let me explain because I know it sounds REALLY weird, but hopefully it will make sense when I'm done.

Last night we attended a party where the hosts announced that they are pregnant (yay Cara and Jon), but almost instantly after I found out, I felt the need to call my good friend who wasn't there because we'd been discussing our theories about this in earlier weeks. It sounds gossipy, but it really wasn't. If she'd have been there, she would've found out that same way. As I called her and we gushed about our excitement, she thanked me for calling. And my response was "No problem, if you had been there I would've wanted someone to let me know." This response started me thinking:

*Although it's in the past, a friend told me she was pregnant along with the group instead of individually, which at the time was so sad for me. I didn't feel individually included in her exciting information.

*Earlier in the day I had a conversation with Melinda about her appointment with the midwife. I said "Give me all the information. I want to know everything!"

*I got off of the phone Thursday night and recounted my conversation to Herb. I asked him if he cared about my ramblings, to which he replied no, but he listens anyway because he knows I want to share it. He knows I need to tell my stories.

*I show my love for others by telling stories about myself, including details and making sure they are in the know in my life.

*I feel SO loved when people remember details about me that I've said in the past or when the check up on concerns I've expressed before.

*I had a situation at work yesterday where I was so angry and hurt because I was left out of an important information loop.

*Throughout the whole book nonsense, I was hurt because I didn't know what my administrators' were thinking and doing.

*I long to talk to people for hours, to hear stories about their lives. Their words, no matter how trivial, make me feel loved.

*Books have the ability to make me feel warm and fuzzy, especially when I feel the author has shared a piece of himself with me.

Information is my love language. Hopefully you don't take this to think I'm a gossip because I hope not to be. I don't want to know what you know about others, I want to know what you know about yourself. Tell me your thoughts on the world and what you've learned through your experiences and I will feel so incredibly loved. Let me tell my stories and I feel at ease in your presence. It's not about "knowledge making arrogant", it is about you letting me into your world. It makes me feel wanted to know that you desire me to be a part of your experiences. Perhaps it's that it makes me feel included. I haven't quite dissected all of the implications of this new discovery, but I'm quite confident that I have hit the nail on the head here.

So if I'm rambling on and on, try to listen--I'll feel SO loved. If I ask you annoying questions that are seemingly endless, know that it's not because I'm being nosy, I'm trying to love you, the Katie way.