Coincidence? I think not...

It's funny to me sometimes how disconnected events feel in my life. I often feel like I am experiencing a series of events that are wholly unrelated to one another. Each experience is segmented into a different area of my life. I have a dramatic experience at school, but it has nothing to do with the conversation I had a Bible study this week. Herb and I have an interesting discussion, but it is unrelated to the discussion I had with Krista yesterday.

It's strange that I feel events are disconnected because I took a personality profile at work last year and it said I am all about interconnectedness. And I believe this as right on about how I perceive the world. I am constantly looking for a way to connect to a person, an experience, a book, a song. I want to somehow feel a part of something bigger. The smallest example of this is that when I drive around town I look for other cars that might belong to someone I know. I watch for the make and model that Melinda drives or Rachael drives or even Lindsay drives expecting and hoping that I might catch them on the same road that I am driving. This often makes no sense because I know Rachael's at work or Lindsay's in Ohio, but I look anyway. Something innate in me desires to be connected to others even in the mundane.

I say all of this because I am acutely aware that the events and experiences of my life are interconnected, so when they feel disconnected it is a sign to me that I'm missing something. If I can't connect Herb's comment about the importance of girl time to the time I spend with Melinda, then something is off. Either I'm not supposed to see it yet or I'm not looking hard enough. These past few weeks have been a shining example of how the Lord reveals His not-so-coincidences in His own time.

Experience one happened about 6 weeks ago; I had a very difficult confrontation with someone from Bible study. I was immensely wounded by the experience and wrestled long and hard to see what God was doing in the midst of the confrontation. I couldn't see it; I couldn't see the purpose behind the pain. A single incident, right? Wait and see...

Experience two happened on a much larger scale. At church a pastor spoke on the topic of "Is the Bible true?" (One thing I love about our church is that they aren't afraid to wrestle with tough issues--they didn't shy away from this one either.) With this heated topic the church became ideologically split and our head pastor stood on the pulpit to address a critical moment for our church. He called all church members to read Romans 12-15 and reminded us that it is okay to wrestle, but we should not allow that wrestling to break the unity that God has in store for us. A little similar and a chance to remind me about unity, but it was just a sermon, right?

Experience three is where God began to turn on the warning signals that slowed me down enough so I could see His plan. I asked Lori if she wanted to go through a Bible study with me this summer. We decided on a book of the Bible and were all set to go until...someone handed Lori a book. After reading half of the book in one sitting, Lori immediately suggested a change in topic. "Let's go through this book, The Bait of Satan." Okay, I'm game.

Here's where it all begins to tie together. This book is about how Satan uses being offended to dig his heels into our lives. When we become offended we build up walls to protect ourselves from unsafe people. To me, and probably most of you reading this, this seems like a reasonable course of action. Guard your heart, right? But this book argues that if we build walls and guard our hearts, we will never be able to give unconditional love. How can you love someone without condition if you won't let them near? My instant response, "Too risky, no way." Scripture and this book argue that I need to let God's unconditional love bridge the gap; just because you give love to one person doesn't mean that God is going to use that same person to help you experience love. Good point, I limited God when I expected a direct give and take.

Okay, so I'm going on too much about the book, but I do highly recommend it. My point is that none of these events were coincidences. God has been using the experiences of my last six weeks (and truly of my life thus far) to prepare me to hear this truth. If I had not been confronted in Bible study the wound would not have been so fresh. If the wound hadn't been so fresh I might have missed the true vision of unity behind the sermon. If I hadn't heard the truth about unity, I might not have desired to break down walls in my life. And if I hadn't come to the place where I wanted to break down walls I may not have been prepared for the truth of this book. All of my ramblings to get to this point: God is constantly working and to expect to know the reason right away is ridiculous because if I knew the reason I might be more resistant to the events that lead up to that purpose.

So I truly believe I have a beautiful piece of God's character in desiring everything to be interconnected. It gives me great Hope to find life to be more than just a series of coincidences. Thus if I ever begin questioning what role this has in God's plans for me, just say "Hey Katie, coincidence? I think not."