I've Gotten Carried Away

I was lying in bed last night thinking about my day, and I began to compare one of my experiences to the novel Like Water For Chocolate.  I was just thinking about how Herb had a rough day and I wanted to fix it by making him some sort of delicious food.  Apparently one of my love languages (the unwritten one of course) is food.  That is often how I communicate my love and emotions, just like Tita in Like Water For Chocolate.  As I meandered down this path of thought, I was reminded of one of the You've Got Mail quotes that I forgot.  And I can't believe I forgot it because it's one of my favorites.  The quote is as follows:

So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?

I love this quote because it brings forth an interesting idea.  Should we use books as a means of exploring unknown worlds that we're not brave enough to explore ourselves?  Should we hide in fiction when we could be out living life?  Is there something wrong with seeing books played out in our lives?  In this email, Kathleen is wondering if she's brave, if she's taken risks.  I think it's a valid question, and one I can easily relate to.

So I pondered it as I was falling asleep and I came to this conclusion: I think books bring depth to our life experiences, as long as we continue to live out our own lives.  I love to be able to relate to books, and I love to see glimpses of a book in real life.  Books enrich us, fill our souls with new wonder, and if they're any good, they encourage to explore, to take risks in life. Books provide ways to enhance relationships, give new topics of conversation.  Books inspire great thought, which in turn can inspire great writing, and create new books.  I've come to the conclusion that books don't take away from our lives, they add to them.  Which reminded me of another quote I forgot from You've Got Mail:

And it wasn't that she was just selling books, it was that she was helping people become whoever it was that they would turn out to be.  Because when you read a book as a child it becomes a part of your identity in a way that no other reading in your whole life does...and...I've gotten carried away.

She may have gotten carried away, but she carried Joe, and me, right with her.  She's right, books help define us.  They help shape us.  They do empower us to help become what we want to be.  Thus, I will continue to see things in my everyday life that remind me of books I've read, but I will also continue to be brave.  For someday, if I'm brave enough, I just might have enough life experience and book wisdom to write a book of my own.  I hope I'm brave enough.

How Beautiful

One of my favorite songs that my mom played when I was growing up was Twila Paris' "How Beautiful."  It reveals the beauty of Jesus' ministry here on earth.  But whenever I observe beauty around me this song also echoes in my ears.  Yesterday was no exception.

I realize that I don't write enough about the beauty that occurs in my classroom on a regular basis.  I want to share with you because it is a reminder that there is beauty all around. Yesterday my friend and fellow teacher, Stacey, was diagnosed with preeclampsia in the morning and as a result has to have the baby three weeks early.  Initially this caused her and those around her much distress.  The idea of having Baby Claire early was just unexpected and the complications a bit worrisome.

Some of my students were talking about Stacey in the afternoon asking if she was going to have a substitute for doctor's appointments yesterday, and I had to inform them that Mrs. Rhodes probably wouldn't be back the remainder of the year.  Some of the students took this in stride, but a small group grew very worried.  They asked me a myriad of questions with genuinely concerned looks on their faces.  One particular boy asked me what the risks were, why this caused alarm, how the body needs to prepare for pregnancy and on and on.  It was a authentically beautiful moment.  The concern for his teacher's well-being, his intense desire to know and understand what she had to endure, and his willingness to ask despite peer observance.  It was just a beautiful moment for me.  My heart still warms to think of it.

These are the moments that make teaching an amazing profession.  These tender interactions with students that allow me to see the beauty of each heart.  These are glimpses into God's beauty implanted in the hearts of each of us, especially the hearts of children. 

You've Got Mail

As many of you know You've Got Mail is high on my favorite movies list, but it becomes much higher depending on my degree of sickness.  We all have that one comfort movie that we watch when we need home to feel a little more like home.  You've Got Mail is that movie for me.  It has amazing lines, and I could quote it non-stop until the cows come home, yet the real draw is that amount of comfort it brings me.  Perhaps part of the assurance comes from being able to quote all the lines, or perhaps it is the connection I feel with the character Kathleen Kelly (she and I are so very much alike), or maybe it is the soothing, kind humor of Joe Fox (Tom Hanks is quite the suitor!), or maybe it is an unexplainable quality that comes only from watching a movie hundreds of times (just as Kathleen has found comfort in reading Pride and Prejudice two hundred times!)

No matter the reason, it is a favorite.  I am sitting here enjoying each line and savoring the moments, even though I know what is coming next.  I must say though that as a woman of words the lines in this movie are my favorite.  I thought I might include many of them here, so that when I randomly insert them into conversation (which I will do, just ask Mom, Herb and Melinda) you might know what I'm referring to.  If you don't read on, I'm not offended.  This is really just a practice in enjoying one of my favorite things in the world, quoting movies!

Confession. I have read Pride and Prejudice over two hundred times.  I am in agony over whether Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth will ever get together.  I get lost in words like "thither", "mischievous" and "felicity".

This place is a tomb. I'm going to the nut shop where it's fun!

What is it with men and the Godfather?  The Godfather is the Iching.  The Godfather is the answer to any question.  What do I pack?  Leave the gun take the cannoli.  

Thank your.  Thank your ladies and gentleman.

Frank, is she a Republican?  I can't help myself.

You are a lone reed.  I am a lone reed.

Go to the mattresses.

Meaningless bouquets of sharpened pencils.

If I ever get out of here I'm having my eyes lasered.

Hi I'm Kimberley.  Hi I'm Tiffany.  It's like their a whole generation of cocktail waitresses. Don't they know you're supposed to have a last name?

Nol Streatfeild wrote Ballet Shoes and Skating Shoes and Dancing Shoes.  I'd start with Ballet Shoes its my favorite.  Although Dancing Shoes is completely wonderful but it's out of print.

What's his handle? NY152.  152. 152 felony indictments. 152 pock marks from the 152 moles he had removed.  152 people who think he looks like Clark Gable. 152 people who think he looks like a Clark Bar.  152 INSIGHTS INTO MY SOUL!

What's your name?  Rose.  Rose, that's a pretty name.  Happy Thanksgiving Rose.  It's your turn to say Happy Thanksgiving back.  Happy Thanksgiving back. 

Now I just have to find someone else. That's the easy part.  Sure, its a snap finding the one single creature that fills your heart with joy.

Starbucks is designed to help people who have no decision-making capabilities whatsoever make six decisions at one time.  Tall! Soy! Caramel Machiatto!  For three fifty they not only get a cup of coffee but find a complete sense of self!

I said we were a damn piazza!  Sh**! I was eloquent! 

I love Daisies don't you?  Daisies are the friendliest flower!

My head is starting to get fuzzy!

You've, Got Mail!  Those are very powerful words!  Yes!

Hope you're mango's ripe!

What about you, is there someone else?  No, but there's the dream of someone else.

What are you doing here again?  I wanted to be your friend.

He said the project needed some tweaking. T-W-E-A-K-I-N-G, tweaking.

What I don't understand is how you can forgive him for standing you up, but you can't forgive me for this one little thing of putting you out of business.  I'm just saying if I weren't Fox books and you weren't the Shop Around the Corner I would have asked for your number and I wouldn't have been able to wait one day to call you up and say how about coffee, how about dinner, for as long as we both shall live.  And then all we'd ever argue about is what movie to rent on a Saturday night.  Well that's silly, who argues about that?  Not us.

I wanted it to be you!  I wanted it to be you so badly!

Okay, so I have a problem.  I might have seen the movie more than a hundred times.  I think I can quote most of the movie beginning to end with just a little prompting.  Anyway, thank you for humoring me.  I'm now going to return to curling up sick on the sofa quoting You've Got Mail while it comforts my ailing body.

Snapshots

There is this chapter in the book Lovely Bones entitled "Snapshots".  In this chapter the character/narrator reveals pieces of what she has witnessed as if they were photographs in an album.  They don't tell the whole story because nothing can catalogue her accounts perfectly, but they provide a glimpse.  I want to achieve something like that here today.  My mind feels like a whirl wind of events and moments from this week, and I feel the need to catalogue them. I feel compelled to write tonight, that I will be restless if these thoughts are kept to myself.  So here are my snapshots:

Standing in a twenty minute line for concessions at the D-backs game, my mom prompts me to go watch the pre-game festivities live.  She'll wait in line.  What a perfect vision of selflessness, the true quality of a loving mother.  I hope I can someday achieve that.

Walking in the door exhausted from four hours in the car and three hours at the game, my husband meets me at the door and grabs my backpack.  It's a simple gesture, but it warms my heart nonetheless.

Frazzled and frantic Melinda tries to piece together the AIMS test.  Stacks of test booklets and answer sheets galore, yet she greets each new visitor with a smile.  Each one.

I tell Melinda I'm sick and say my body hates me.  She says "Your body hates fun."  I think she's on to something.

Text message.  Cousin Dominique lost her dad in a car accident this morning.  How could this be?  Reality doesn't sink in.

Phone call from Kevyn.  "Another cousin lost another parent.  I can't imagine that kind of heartache and it's happened twice now."  How poignant and heart wrenching!  How did I not see it that way?  How are we going to cope?

Phone call to Domo.  What do I say?  Second time in weeks I don't know what to say.  How do we comfort a grieving heart?  Certainly not with words.  But I'm not there, what do I do? Hopeless and helpless I say I'm sorry and wish I had more than that to say.

Sick at home in bed.  Wish I could be at Bible study, but my body grieves and my soul grieves. I have given up on this week.  Weary and heavy leaden I come to the computer to write, to pour my words, my endless thoughts somewhere.  God has borne witness to the silent battles, but somehow I still need to write.

Nothing left to say, nothing left to give.  I crawl into bed looking with hopeful eyes toward tomorrow.

Adventure

"I want adventure in the great life somewhere.  I want it more than I can tell..."  Ah, the music of Disney movies that echoes through my ears on a regular basis!  

As many of you know, I am not one to take risks.  I don't need to jump out of a plane and feel life slip from my beating heart.  I don't need to scream at the top of my lungs as I plunge down the hill of a roller coaster.  Thrills just aren't my thing.  But I believe the reason people take these types of risks is because they long to feel alive.  There is something about their racing heart and quickness of breath that makes them feel more human, more real.  And while I do not take those risks, I can understand that sentiment.

My version of embracing this sentiment is to break from my normal schedule and do something crazy!  You thrill seekers think this sounds lame, but it truly works for me.  Anytime I run off to dinner with a friend in the middle of the week or go to the movies when I'd normally be grading, I feel alive!  Today is no exception to that.  Today I break the Monday routine, Bible study with Lori, Heroes night dinner with Melinda, Stacey and Mika and bedtime at nine o'clock, to do something enjoyable.  Today I "thrill-seek" in my own Katie sort of way.  

Today after school I'm hopping into my car to meet my mom in Phoenix at the Diamondbacks home opener!  Baseball, in Phoenix, on a school night!  My perfect version of adventure!  I guess you could say I'm playing hooky from my life to go to a baseball game, and I'm jazzed! I'm going to eat a hot dog, drink a soda, and share ice cream with my mom in the seventh.  Not to mention the screaming and cheering that will ensue as a result of a good game of baseball.  I can't wait!

The stress of doing something like this can overtake my mind.  I won't be able to make lunches. What about prepping for AIMS tomorrow?  How will I get my classes ready?  But that's part of the adventure.  Literally leaving everything behind to do something just for you.  It's a little bit reckless, it's a little bit foolish and that's what makes it so grand!  So all of you thrill seekers out there, do something just a little bit irresponsible today and join me in an adventure!

Oh I love technology...

I've been complaining for weeks now about this new "Blue Ray" technology.  Everyone says it's the newest, hip thing out there and we shouldn't watch movies without it.  I say that it's just another way that society is forcing us to buy and attain more stuff.  It is society's way of forcing my hand into spending my money on things I don't need.  I am fine with the idea that they are offering better technology to us, but I am frustrated to no end that soon they will phase DVDs out in an effort to coerce us into purchasing Blue Ray discs.   Not to mention that Blue Ray can only be viewed on HD televisions, which means they'll be harassing us to purchase a new TV as well.  As you can see, I could rant on and on about this topic.

My students and I have long discussions about the impact of technology on society.  We explore the idea that something must be destroyed in order for something new to be created.  And I agree with this sentiment on some levels.  I think that nasty habits have to be destroyed in order to make room for more healthy activities.  I believe that we have to destroy old ways of thinking and approaching people to make way for less prejudice in our society.  But I get a little annoyed when it comes to our technological savvy society.  Why must we always seek to have better and more advanced stuff?  Why must we propagate the idea that our things should be disposable?  When it doesn't work anymore, don't fix it, just throw it away and get a new one. Obviously that's the best course of action.  Obviously.

But then last night I had a practice in contradictions, paradoxes, irony if you will.  As I said, I've been ranting about this topic for two weeks now, and last night I sat down to write out Herb's graduation invites, by hand.  I sat there writing the same content over and over again; we wrote addresses by hand, folded and stuffed envelopes, soon we will place stamps on each envelope. Monotony at it's best.  No sooner had we begun this process than I said "I love evite.  Why can't we do all invitations that way from now on?"  Oh my!  A profession of love for my technology, for my computer driven, internet based privileges.  Privileges granted to me by, wait for it, technological advancements.  See the irony!  The thing I complain about often is the thing that enables me to do SO MANY cool things!  I think about my classroom, and I have often said to others that I don't know if I'll ever be able to go back to a computerless school.  It affords me so many cool learning opportunities with my students, things I would never be able to do with them otherwise.  Yet, I still remain annoyed at a society that forces my technological hand.

It's a conundrum.  A paradox.  It is the stuff of literary devices.  I want to have my cake and eat it too.  Such a high demand I know.  I still am annoyed about the Blue Ray, High Def movement, but I think I need to complain a little less.  For I am extremely thankful for the way technology has improved my life.  I don't want to be like Frank from You've Got Mail, clinging to my typewriters, vilifying a society too reliant on technology.  For I am a part of that society, and I do love my technology.  So I suppose I'll have to chirp a little less about its evils and remember the luxuries that it affords me.