The Journey

As I was pondering this idea on the way home, I was convinced, convinced, that I had written this post before. It seems like such a recurrent theme that I was sure that I'd pontificated on the idea previously, but apparently I was mistaken. Or at least I couldn't find the evidence that I'd blogged about it, so if you're having a very French, déjà vu -ish sort of thing happening, you are not alone.

Life is a journey. A metaphor we are all very familiar with, but one I don't happen to like. Yes it is quite accurate, and yes we are constantly walking through life's new adventures, but I don't like traveling the road. Journeys are about destinations to me. When I travel I have the get-there-as-soon-as-possible sentiment. Quick pit stops, eat food on the go, but let's not stop and look at anything on the way. We're going where we're going, let's get there!

Traveling is inconvenient. You can't account for how much time will be spent where, you can't control the circumstances along the way, you might have to wait in traffic or make a U-turn, you may get lost. Not to mention the physical discomfort that journeys bring, anxiously waiting for the next rest stop fearing your bladder may explode before then, a numb rear end that takes at least 20 minutes of walking to regain feeling, and legs that feel as if they've forgotten how to function.

But get me to a destination and I can settle in, find all of the good bathrooms, follow the maps, use my game plan, eat at the restaurants I've picked out ahead of time...be in control.

I am taking the analogy a bit far, but I feel quite the same way about life. I often feel like I'm living from destination to destination. From weekend to weekend, from exciting event to exciting event, from dating to engagement, engagement to wedding, wedding to graduation, graduation to law school...I am not so much a fan of living in the moment, which sounds horrible. Of course I like my moments and I try my best to savor them, but a little piece of my brain is always jumping to the next thing.

Once I was explaining to a friend how I hated being engaged. She asked me why? "You only get to be a fiancée for such a short amount of time!" I had not really ever thought of that before, I just thought about how much I was looking forward to being Herb's wife. I got so caught up in what was to come that I failed to live in what was. Plus there is such a feeling of achievement to having arrived, having accomplished what I set out to do.

But the thing is, I often struggle to stop and savor the accomplishment; instead I look at what did or did not work and begin setting new goals as to how to do it better next time. I begin plotting my new destination without appreciating the one I'm currently visiting.

One of the realizations I keep having is that I am not going to arrive, at least not in this lifetime. My life will truly be a series of journeys and I'm just going to have to live with that. And I think I'm going to need to do more than just live with it, I'm going to need to cherish the journey more. The process is what matters, as does the product. They are both equally important, but if I don't take the time to acknowledge the process I'll be missing out on an important piece of the product. Because process and product can't be separated I need to learn to appreciate them both. (Very déjà vu -ish here specifically!)

So I'm going to really try to enjoy the journey, enjoy where I am in life, and stop living for what will be. Because the surrounding scenery can be beautiful if I take the time to stop and look around.

AFTERWARD: There's a reason it felt so familiar...similar post, same title, 14 months ago, with ironically similar sentiments to my life now. When such themes are so prevalent it makes me wonder if I'm even growing and changing. When I'm singing the same tune so many months later has my melody evolved at all? Not sure, but read, compare and tell me what you think:
The Journey