The Road

Yesterday I finished a novel called "The Road" in preparation for school next year. I didn't choose the book and through reading it I became reacquainted with what my students must feel like when I ask them to read something they aren't engaged in. I can admire this book from a distance, seeing what the author is attempting to achieve stylistically, but in terms of speaking to me, the book had a frightening voice.

Every time I read this novel it gave me horrible images. The book is about a father and son who survive a nuclear holocaust only to travel a barren and ragged road looking for some sort of salvation. But the author chooses stark images of young boys being used as sex slaves and infants being roasted for food. Even though the main characters are somewhat more redeemable, I found the images haunted my mind. And it has left me thinking about the power that an author can have over one's mind.

Now, we give an author permission to enter into our thoughts and into our mind, but at what point do we admit that they have too much power and set the book aside? I had nightmares the last three nights encompassing this boy and his father in some way, but I pushed through the novel because it needed to be done for school. I found the book hopeless and dreary, but I kept reading knowing that reading this book was only for a time. I am honestly wrestling with the question of requiring someone to read something that darkens their thoughts.

My Grandpa Read knew himself well enough to know that he couldn't watch movies that contained abuse of a child or a woman. The images were too damaging to his heart and mind. Shouldn't we in some way applaud someone like my grandpa who knows himself well enough to avoid things that might haunt his mind? And if that's the case then as an English teacher shouldn't I give students the chance to opt out of a novel?

But on the other side of the coin, there have been times that I've exposed myself to a novel or movie that I initially found disturbing only to gain great insight into a new subject or theme that I'd never thought about before. I felt that way reading the first chapter of "The Memory Keeper's Daughter", but after finishing the book I was so pleased I pushed through it. And if we only read, see, consider, experience the things that are safe, then how are we ever stretched intellectually or emotionally?

Overall I'm torn. I think there is a place for prudence and knowing your limits emotionally, spiritually and intellectually. But I also feel there is an important place for exploring new ideas and worlds even if they do make us uncomfortable. So for now I'll have to settle with this: you have to try to read those books you've been challenged to read, but you have to know yourself well enough to say "I can't commit myself to this book any longer." Because I feel like you should always try, but I also feel that perhaps there's a different way to explore that same issue without bringing disturbing images into your heart and mind.

And perhaps that's the ultimate lesson here, it's all about being cognisant of what I am reading, thinking and feeling. As long as I continue to ponder these issues then maybe that's the most important thing. Because the real reason we read is to know more about ourselves and how our world view interacts with the world view of those around us. And if that's the case then it's just as important that we put the book down as it is to push through the book to the end. It's a matter of giving valid reasoning for making either choice.