Failure

"He who has never failed somewhere, that man cannot be great. Failure is the test of greatness." ~Herman Melville

How profound! Without failure, how can we know success? How can we learn? How can we be encouraged by others? by God? One of my greatest frustrations with students is their paralyzing fear of failure. They will not raise their hands, venture an answer, try something new, for fear of failure. Somewhere along the way our school system, or their parents, or both have taught them that school is about getting the A. Learning is a secondary result, and getting the A definitely doesn't involve failure. I resorted to not calling it failure because that's what F stands for, right? I call it any other euphemism I can think of--attempted success, risk, courage, stumble, areas of growth--but nothing can shake the stigma they feel with trying and finding themselves unsuccessful.

I've tried to model this in the classroom. Own up to ideas that I thought would work and fell flat on their face. Or making a mistake, owning up to it with the promise to do it better next time. But what I've realized is that I'm not that much better. In general I'm not afraid to take risks in the classroom, but I think it's because I believe I'll still be loved and cared for if I fall flat on my face. I hope I create that same environment for kids, but I'm not sure that's enough to untrain them. This year, however, I do not feel like my failures are met with laughter and gentleness. The AP and honors kids are a much harsher crowd with higher expectations. This isn't true of all of them, but the general feeling I get from these kids is that failure is not an option. It is a mantra they live by, and thus it is a standard they hold me to as well.

I realized this weekend that I have been walking on eggshells, living in that fear of failure and shame in front of these kids. In the times I've tried to own mistakes I feel glared down or not smart enough to offer them education. In fairness, I've allowed them to have that power over me. I've given them the chance to glare at my failures and imperfections instead of creating a space where failure is growth. I've decided that this ends right now. I will continue to own my failures and imperfections, it's part of who I am. I can't live in hiding, and I can't teach in hiding. If I'm going to learn as a teacher, and if they are going to grow as students, then we are all going to embrace the falling, the scraping of our knees and the wiping ourselves off and getting back up again. We're going to do it together, and I'm going to drag them kicking and screaming. We are going to accept our failures and move forward. That's how greatness happens, for all of us.